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We’ve All Experienced Toxic Relationships


Award-winning Nigerian Afrobeats singer and songwriter, Temilade Openiyi, popularly known as Tems, has shared her perspective on toxic relationships.

Speaking in a recent interview, Tems noted that many people have experienced a kind of love with partners who are unaware of their own toxic behaviour.

According to the singer, “I feel like everyone has experienced that toxic love with someone that doesn’t even know that they’re toxic.”

She explained that some individuals may genuinely believe they are expressing love without fully understanding the emotional impact of their actions.

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“They say I love you, I love you, but they don’t know that they don’t even love you because you can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself,” emphasizing her belief that self-love is essential before a person can truly love another.

Tems stressed that what is often mistaken for love can sometimes be emotional dependence.

“I feel like it’s more like they need you or something about you makes them feel a way about themselves,” she explained, describing such emotions as temporary rather than genuine love.

Highlighting her understanding of real affection, Tems stated, “Love is not a fleeting feeling,” stressing that true love is permanent and should not be confused with temporary emotional highs.

She concluded by noting that recognizing t+xicity can lead to honest communication and reflection, adding that sometimes the right step is to “actually speak to them and see how they’re doing.”



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