It is the Court of Eternal National Conscience, somewhere beyond time and space. Seated in a crescent formation are Nigeria’s departed political titans. They have summoned President Bola Tinubu to answer for the current state of Nigerian democracy.
OBAFEMI AWOLOWO: Asiwaju, in my time, we debated with the rigour of philosophers and dreamt of a truly federal Nigeria. Today, your people speak only of “structure” and “returns on investment.” What became of ideology? TINUBU: Awooo! Papa, how is Mama HID? chuckles I’ll start with education, since it was dear to you. Today, children of the poor can attend university with student loans, payable after graduation. Ideology? I’ll tackle that next time, sir! laughs nervously NNAMDI AZIKIWE: I once proclaimed that no condition is permanent.
Yet in your era, mediocrity appears not only permanent but proudly state-sponsored. Why does brilliance now bow before sycophancy? TINUBU: Zik of Africa! Owelle of Onitsha, I salute you! smiles. The people now vote with rice, not reason. Intelligence has become a political liability; loyalty is the new IQ. Owelle, some lawmakers can’t string a sentence together, but don’t worry, they won’t return in 2027!
MURTALA MUHAMMED: I died trying to sanitise this country. Today, public office is a goldmine. What happened to sacrifice and integrity? TINUBU: General, integrity still exists… mostly on campaign posters! Laughs. But seriously, we are working on it. clears throat.
MKO ABIOLA: I gave my life for June 12 to be remembered. Is not it ironic that democracy today is murdered in courtrooms and collation centres? TINUBU: MKO! Your legacy lives on, sir, even if free and fair elections, like in ’93, are on life support. Extend my greetings to Kudirat, the heroine of June 12. smiles warmly I won’t forget her.
GANI FAWEHINMI: I sued tyrants, challenged despots and held the judiciary accountable. Now, the bench dons the mask of the executive. Why has the temple of justice become a marketplace of judgement? TINUBU: Chief, many judges now fear poverty more than God. chuckles, I hear justice is auctioned like tomatoes in Gbagi Market at Ibadan, bruised, overpriced and seasonal. But I swear, I never bid! raises hands innocently.
AMINU KANO: We stood for the talakawa, the common folk. Why are they now defending their oppressors with hashtags. TINUBU: Mallam, hunger has erased class consciousness. The oppressed guard their chains like heirlooms now. Your concern is noted; I will look into it.
KEN SARO-WIWA: I died for the environment and for justice. Oil still flows, yet the land still bleeds. Who truly owns Nigeria? TINUBU: Ken, both the rich and poor are stealing the oil! laughs We will stop them. Those who killed you made a mistake, you were a good man, nods solemnly.
TUNDE IDIAGBON: We once enforced discipline with vision. Now, there’s disorder in high definition.Has shame been devalued as well? TINUBU: Sir, your boss General Buhari handed power to me. Back then, you two didn’t laugh, now he laughs more! chuckles. Greetings to the fine General Joe Garba. Discipline? We are working on it.
ANTHONY ENAHORO: I moved the motion for independence, envisioning a new dawn. This is not that dawn. Why has the dream turned to debris? TINUBU: Chief, we still dream, but only when DISCOs let us sleep, sometimes no electricity in the Villa! laughs! My salutations to your brother, Peter Pan.
CHINUA ACHEBE (Special Observer): I wrote that the trouble with Nigeria is simply and squarely a failure of leadership. Now, failure seems to have upgraded its firmware. What happened to servantleadership? TINUBU: Prof, our leaders are now kings! Power is a buffet, everyone’s hungry and no one washes the dishes. chuckles! Governors collect more money monthly, but I can not ask what they do with it.
BOLA IGE: I warned that democracy without justice is a corpse in a designer coffin. Why does your government embalm liberty and call it governance? TINUBU: Uncle Bola, liberty dey alive, eh! laughs. My regards to Justice Atinuke, your wife.
ADEKUNLE AJASIN: We ran honest governments with meagre allocations. Now, governors fly chartered jets yet owe salaries. When did shame go bankrupt? TINUBU. Sir, I will relay your message to the governors and lawmakers.
AKINOLA AGUDA: I led the committee on a just political future. My report warned of chaos if true federalism was ignored. Now, Nigeria resembles a keg of gunpowder soaked in fuel. Why was restructuring buried? TINUBU: My Lord, restructuring is too controversial, like asking gluttons at a buffet to diet! laughs Everyone agrees in whispers but flees when it is time to legislate. Your son-in-law, Barr. Femi Falana (SAN), is doing fine, sir. smiles!
BEKO RANSOM-KUTI: I was tortured for demanding basic rights. Now, the people cheer their tormentors. What became of collective conscience? TINUBU: Dr, the national conscience is on sabbatical! chuckles But we’re trying to call it back.
CHUKWUEMEKA ODUMEGWU OJUKWU: I took up arms for the dignity of my people. Today, even dialogue is treated as rebellion. Why does the state respond to dissent with destruction? TINUBU: Ikemba! I salute you! Your adorable wife is now a minister of the Federal Republic. Dialogue? We are working on it, but it is a tough crowd! laughs.
FELA ANIKULAPOKUTI: I sang against madness and nonsense. I warned una say suffering and smiling na bad combo. Today, police still dey beat people, politicians dey chop anyhow, and dem dey use my music for campaign wey dey contradict wetin I stand for. Wetin really change, Asiwaju? TINUBU: Fela, Baba 70! Na only your saxophone still speaks truth without fear and the beat still dey, only the dancers changed! grins widely.
ALAO AKA-BASHORUN: I fought military rule through the Bar and the barricades. I believed the law should protect the weak, not arm the powerful. But today, the Nigerian Bar looks more like a bar lounge, filled with briefs that defend corruption. Why has the law become a costume for criminals? TINUBU: Sir, I am not a member of the Bar, nor did I sit on the bench. chuckles I will pass your message across to the Nigerian Bar Association.
DELE GIWA: I died by a letter bomb for seeking the truth. But now, journalists dodge bullets, not questions. Why is truth more dangerous today than ever before? TINUBU: Dele, your type dey scarce now! Laughs. Journalists are free now, no more letter bombs, but some are more political than politicians.
ABUBAKAR TAFAWA BALEWA (chair of the eternal tribunal – closing statement): President Tinubu, Nigeria was handed to you like an old trumpet dented, yes but still capable of melody. Yet, under your baton, the nation now blows only discordant, tragic notes.
This tribunal does not ask for your defence, we summon your conscience. This democracy bleeds not from old wounds but from fresh betrayal. We, the dead, having listened, reserve our vote of no confidence or confidence until next year, granting you time to heed our warnings. The soul of June 12 is neither in parades nor speeches but in justice, equity and courage, all of which now lie in intensive care.
Let it be known, a nation without shame is a country coasting toward collapse. One party dominance without ideological clarity is autocracy with a makeover. Restructuring is no longer an option; it is the antidote to our political coma. And remember, Mr. President, history never forgets, even when the living do.
