Veteran Nollywood actor, Chiwetalu Agu, has urged women to achieve full personal stability, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially before entering marriage.
Agu, who spoke in an Instagram video on Monday, emphasised that a woman’s completeness should never depend on being married, as a woman should be stable before considering marriage.
According to him, marriage should complement a woman’s life, not define or complete it.
He advised women to establish their own identity, career, or business, even if small, to avoid vulnerability in difficult situations such as divorce, widowhood, or hostile in-laws.
Agu said, “The best advice I can give you as a lady before you embark on the journey of marriage is to be a complete woman before you marry. Establish yourself as a woman before you marry. Make sure you are mentally, physically, spiritually and financially stable before you marry.
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“Emphasis on financially and spiritually stable. It is not marriage that completes you as a woman. Your work, identity or sense of completeness as a woman does not depend on being married.
“You don’t need marriage to feel whole, valuable or fulfilled. Marriage should complement you, not complete you. Marriage should be a beautiful addition, not a missing piece.”
“Before you marry, build yourself up. Even if you are not financially stable, at least make sure you have something to do. At least make sure you have a handwork.
“At least make sure you have a business idea or a proper insight into what being independent is all about”, he added.
Agu warned that relying entirely on a husband for emotional, social, or financial support can leave a woman helpless if that support is withdrawn.
He highlighted the harsh realities faced by widows, divorced women, and single mothers in society, noting that in-laws may strip a widow of her late husband’s assets if she has no foundation of her own.
“God forbid if you marry into a family where your in-laws don’t like you and you have nothing to bring to the table, then sorry will be your name. God forbid if your husband divorces you over a small misunderstanding and you are not stable in any way.
“My dear, you will have to start life all over again because you leave with nothing. God forbid your husband dies and you have nothing of your own. If your in-laws happen to be a wicked set of people, they will strip you of everything your husband left for you.
“A huge reminder that society is cruel to widows. A huge reminder that the world is unkind to divorced women. A huge reminder that the universe often mistreats single mothers”, he said.
The actor encouraged women to prioritise self-development, independence, and self-worth, stating that seeing marriage as the ultimate goal often leads to settling for less and limiting personal growth.
He said, “The earlier you open your eyes to establish your brand, your identity, your dreams, and your strength as a woman, the better for you. It’s self-development, independence, and self-worth to form a relationship.
“When a woman wholly relies on a man emotionally, socially, or financially, she becomes vulnerable to losing her sense of self-stability and control over her life.
“If the man withdraws his support emotionally, physically, or financially, she may find herself helpless. A woman who sees marriage as her ultimate goal is likely to lose her sense of purpose, settle for less than she deserves, and limit her personal growth.
“The choices and decisions you make today determine what your tomorrow will be like”.
He concluded by reinforcing that the choices made today shape tomorrow’s outcomes, and urged women to enter marriage as already whole individuals.
