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Why I Didn’t Raise My Kids The Way I Was Raised


Ify Adenuga, mother of renowned Nigerian-British grime artist, rapper, and record producer, Joseph Olaitan Adenuga Jnr, popularly known as Skepta, has revealed why she consciously chose to raise her children differently from how she was brought up.

The Nigerian-born author and wife of Joseph Adenuga Senior, reflected on the impact of growing up back in Nigeria during the Biafran war, which she said meant discipline and survival.

Skepta’s mom revealed that she wouldn’t repeat the same parenting style she grew up with, where a home environment is tense and where children won’t feel free to express themselves or explore life and things for themselves.

Speaking on BBC World Service, Ify said, unlike many other African homes, her sitting room was the playground, and it wasn’t a restricted or inaccessible area.

She noted that this freedom played a pivotal role in shaping her children and helped them discover what would later become a crucial trajectory to the success of their lives and careers.

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That’s the promise I made myself, that I’m not going to raise my kids the way I was raised. I like that expression in them that they believe that they can do things themselves.

“That’s how we came up with the idea that we’re not going to hit them all.

For us Africans and black people generally, majority, we decorate the sitting room where children don’t stop over in the sitting room. They come into the sitting room, say hello and all that. They disappear into their room.

They can do anything they like in the sitting room as long as they tidy up. It gave them that space to come up with ideas of whatever it is they want to do. And that’s how the idea of music as well started in the house,” she stated.

This freedom helped spark the children’s creativity, including their interest in music. She recounted supporting their children’s activities and observed how one of them expresses personal experiences through music.

I was driving them to a rundown area. I’ll drop them, and I’ll sit in the car, and I’ll wait for a good one and a half hours while they’re doing that. When they finish, they text me they’re finished. And they all come out and file into the car, and when we get home.”

In his songs, I can see him telling tales about how he grew up. I love listening to his songs,” she mentioned.

Those early studio recording sessions, which their mum secretly took them to, would later shape the music career of Skepta and JME.⁣



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